As Mental Health Awareness Month unfolds, I'm sharing my journey, marking a significant step in my advocacy—a step that feels exceptionally crucial. Although I've become a vocal advocate for mental health in professional circles, revealing my story so openly here is a new frontier for me. This openness is driven by a commitment to deepen understanding and challenge the stigma surrounding mental health, especially relevant for those of us managing our neurodivergence and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD).
Navigating life with these conditions often feels like trying to fit into a world that wasn’t built with us in mind. My evolution towards self-advocacy was born out of necessity, a survival mechanism crafted in response to unreliable caregiving in childhood.
The Trap of People-Pleasing
Historically, I've defaulted to people-pleasing—a deeply ingrained habit developed as a means to cope with unreliable adult figures during my formative years. This pattern led to the frequent neglect of my own basic needs, driven by a misguided attempt to maintain harmony and avoid conflict.
Embracing Self-Advocacy
The realization that I was neglecting my own needs for the sake of others' comfort was a turning point. I recognized that setting boundaries and advocating for myself was not only beneficial but essential for my mental health. Here’s how I shifted my approach:
- Understand Your Limits: I started by acknowledging my boundaries and respecting my own limits.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Integrating non-negotiable self-care routines became a cornerstone of my daily life.
- Communicate Clearly: I worked on articulating my needs clearly to avoid misunderstandings and foster healthier relationships.
- Seek Support: Engaging with therapists and support groups knowledgeable about neurodiversity and trauma proved invaluable.
A Moment of Realization
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A defining moment in my journey was captured while walking down Hollywood Boulevard, wearing a jacket that read "In Memory of When I Cared." This wasn’t just a fashion statement—it was a public declaration of my internal state at the time, reflecting the profound disconnect I felt with my own life’s direction. It symbolized the moment I recognized the need for profound personal change.
Conclusion
This journey of finding my voice has been fraught with challenges, but each step forward has strengthened my resolve and ability to advocate for myself and others. Through this process, I've come to a vital realization—one that I share with everyone I mentor, work with, or cross paths with in any capacity: No one can advocate for you as well as you can for yourself. While I am committed to advocating for those around me, and I will fervently do so, I know that I can never do it quite as effectively as you can for yourself.
This understanding is not meant to diminish the support others can provide, but to empower you to take charge of your own advocacy. Your voice is your most powerful tool. Use it to assert your needs, set your boundaries, and steer your life in the direction that best supports your mental and emotional well-being.
By sharing my story here, I hope to lessen the stigma and illuminate the critical importance of mental health support, particularly for us that are neurodivergent.
As we continue our journeys, let’s remember: advocating for mental health isn't just a personal endeavor—it’s an essential aspect of living authentically and fully.