In my earlier posts, I discussed my path of self-advocacy, how I overcame burnout, and my dedication to empathetic leadership. In this post, I will explore the equilibrium between personal healing and sustaining professional performance, illustrating that it is possible to succeed in both domains.
As Mental Health Awareness Month prompts us to reflect and share, I dive deeper into my therapeutic journey—highlighting the intensive commitment it entailed and the direct impact it had on my professional life. Starting with two four-hour sessions each week with my incredible therapist, Clare, my experience in therapy was both deep and demanding. Balancing personal healing with professional responsibilities can be challenging, yet it is crucial for long-term success and well-being. Throughout my journey, I have discovered that managing mental health while excelling professionally is not only possible but also mutually reinforcing.
Intensive Therapy Sessions
My therapy began intensely, with Clare dedicating entire weekends to our sessions. This was not just a matter of convenience; it was a necessity to ensure that there was no rush, allowing for a safe space where I could unravel years of pent-up trauma. These sessions often involved hours of dissociation, a therapeutic process where my mind and body worked together to release the accumulated pain, followed by time needed to reground myself and transition back to the daily demands of life.
The Introduction of EMDR
As we progressed, we incorporated Bobby, an expert in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a therapy designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories. While EMDR was transformative, helping to free trauma from my body and mind, it also intensified my flashbacks. These were not just simple memories but visceral reactions to everyday sensory triggers—like a specific smell, the sound of raindrops, or a change in temperature—that could transport me back to moments of trauma.
Professional Challenges and Openness
The intensity of these flashbacks and the unpredictability of their occurrence meant that I had to be incredibly open with my colleagues. There were times when flashbacks occured in the middle of a business dinner, at an event and even a meeting and a call, causing complete dissociative moments where my vision would go dark and I could barely see or hear anything, even those right in front of me. While I could technically hear, it felt like I was underwater—everything was muffled and distant. I needed those around me to understand what was happening. This openness was not just about ensuring my safety; it was about fostering an environment of understanding and support. Sharing my journey with colleagues was a step towards demystifying mental health struggles and advocating for a workplace that recognizes and adapts to the diverse mental health needs of its employees.
The Impact of Supportive Leadership
Having empathetic leaders who understood and supported my mental health journey made a significant difference. Their flexibility and willingness to accommodate my needs allowed me to thrive professionally while focusing on my personal healing.
The Role of Work in Healing
Interestingly, work served as a reprieve and helped maintain a routine during this challenging time. The structure and demands of my professional responsibilities provided a welcome distraction from the intensity of therapy, helping me to stay grounded and focused. This balance between therapy and work was crucial in maintaining my overall well-being and productivity.
Techniques for Managing Stress
To effectively manage stress and maintain performance, I incorporated several techniques:
- Grounding Exercises: These techniques helped me stay present and calm during moments of anxiety or flashbacks.
- Mindfulness Practices: Regular mindfulness practices improved my focus and reduced stress.
- Open Communication: Maintaining open lines of communication with my team about my mental health needs fostered an environment of understanding and support.
Overcoming Gender and Sexuality Stereotypes
One significant challenge I faced was overcoming societal expectations that men should not display sensitivity or vulnerability. Being both gay and sensitive added another layer of complexity. Research shows that men are often punished for showing emotional openness, which stems from entrenched stereotypes within the traditional hierarchy. My journey required challenging these norms, demonstrating that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Embracing my sensitivity and being open about my experiences as a gay man in the professional world was both challenging and liberating.
Empowering Others Through Transparency
This forced transparency turned into a powerful tool for advocacy. By being open about my experiences, I encouraged conversations about mental health in the workplace, pushing for policies and practices that consider the mental well-being of all employees. My journey underscores the critical need for supportive and adaptable work environments, particularly for those managing mental health conditions.
Through my story, I hope to inspire others to embrace their own journeys with courage and to advocate for supportive practices in all areas of life. Mental health struggles do not define our professional capabilities but highlight the strength and resilience that come from facing such challenges.
Call to Action
As we continue to share and learn this Mental Health Awareness Month, I urge you to:
- Reflect on your own mental health journey and consider how transparency and openness can foster a more supportive environment in your workplace.
- Advocate for mental health support systems within your organizations, ensuring they recognize and address the diverse needs of employees.
- Challenge gender and sexuality stereotypes that discourage emotional openness, particularly in men, to create a more inclusive and understanding culture.
- Share your stories and experiences to help break the stigma surrounding mental health and encourage others to seek the help they need.
Let's commit to creating spaces where everyone feels safe to disclose and manage their mental health needs without fear of judgment or repercussions. Together, we can build a more compassionate and understanding professional environment.
Healing and hustling are not mutually exclusive. By prioritizing mental health and implementing effective stress management techniques, it is possible to excel professionally while undergoing personal healing. This balance leads to a more sustainable and fulfilling career.